they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
