A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
