The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
