you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize