that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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