i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize