I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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