I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
