Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
