we have officially lost it.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
