its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
And then he peed in my hair
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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