She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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