was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
