I want to stick my p in your. b.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
