Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize