would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
