i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
