Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
