I got chris browned last night
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
