are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
