I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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