..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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