well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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