Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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