And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
