I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
