Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
