Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
