Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
