Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I need moral support for this bender
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
