the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He passed out mid-signature
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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