I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize