New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
