we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
