I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
