I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize