WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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