she is the kim kardashian of front butts
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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