i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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