he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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