Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize