"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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