i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
