I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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