How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I pour the whiskey from now on
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
