the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
