he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
