i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
