I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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