You're so nebulous sometimes
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
