I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
