how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
