Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
