i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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