i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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