I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
