somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
