They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think i peed on brittanys purse
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
