I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
