So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
