; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
