why do cheetos always look like penises
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
