but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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