Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
