brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
