I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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